The most romantic day of the year is also one of the most high‑pressure.

Valentine’s Day restaurant bookings jumped 27% last year, as nearly half of Brits (49%) plan to wine and dine their partner this month. With diners now spending 18% more per person on the big night, a Yorkshire restaurant has shared the modern dating etiquette that can make or break a first date.

We’re not surprised so many people are choosing a meal out for Valentine’s, it’s become the main event, not an afterthought,” says Georgina Pellant from Lucia.

“When you’re spending more on the experience, the pressure to ‘get it right’ on a date is huge. The way you treat staff, your phone and the bill can say more than the flowers you turn up with.”

Georgina then went onto share their top tips for Valentine’s dining etiquette:

Before the Mea 

Modern etiquette starts before you’ve even reached the table, how you plan and arrive sets the tone for the whole date.

  • Agree the basics in advance such as time, booking name and a rough dress code if necessary to avoid issues at the door.
  • Always aim to be on time, if you’re running late, always send a clear message.
  • Put your phone on silent before walking in, no scrolling in the queue or at the host stand, that way you are giving all your attention to your date.
  • Be warm and polite to staff from the first interaction; your date will notice how you treat other people.

During the Meal

At the table, good etiquette is less about formal rules and more about making the other person feel comfortable.

  • Let your date read the menu in peace and avoid comments on what they order. Don’t make jokes about price, calories or “being good”.
  • Keep photos quick and discreet; one or two snaps is fine but put your phone away for the rest of the meal.
  • Don’t record your date or check messages mid conversation, if you must look at your phone, explain briefly and then pocket it.
  • Ask before sharing food, keep compliments respectful, and skip heavy topics or ex-talk until you both seem comfortable.

After the Meal 

How you handle the end of the night, especially the bill, is a big part of modern dating etiquette.

  • Decide how you’d like to handle the bill before it arrives, so you don’t dither.
  • If you did the inviting, it’s courteous to offer to pay, but don’t turn it into a power struggle if they’d rather split.
  • Avoid turning the bill into a spectacle, no arguing over the card machine or loud jokes about the cost or tipping.
  • On an early-stage Valentine’s date, a simple 50/50 split is usually the least awkward option if you’re unsure.

“Valentines should feel special, not stressful,” Georgina adds. 

“If you’re relaxed, respectful and actually present with the person in front of you, that will always matter more than picking the perfect restaurant or saying all the ‘right’ things. Good manners are really just about making the other person feel comfortable and that’s what turns a simple meal into a great date.”